Highlight of the first segment has to be Don's phone call to local 7-11 stores to ask a question about a special Budwiser holiday beer display. Hysterical! Next, we meet Ryder, a young man who has written a heartfelt letter to Don and Mike asking for their assistance in getting him laid for the first time since a horrifying car accident in 1991 which left him with permanent brain damage. Santa Don and Santa Mike reach into their big bag of holiday cheer and decide to send him to Reno for a professional hook up. Next, Charlie Stossel stops by to hear his latest disturbing prison mail and review "Vertical Limit" and "Proof of Life" and "Mike Oxbig" and "Mike LaTaurus" call some guy selling a sack of "chads". Dumb guy but funny bit. Recently fired Redskins coach Norv Turner is still depressed, and there still isn't a winner in the November 2000 Presidential election, and OJ Simpson is still a free man.